My grandfather wasn’t always an easy man. He broke my aunt’s nose. Beat my dad until he popped his shoulder out of joint, popped it back in, and went back to beating him. I could write a novel on the stories I was coached on when I was growing up. A few things stuck with me. 1) He held me once. I was six months old when he passed. 2) He used to pass out peppermint candy to his grandchildren thanks to his wife Ms. Zora. 3) Almost everyone he knew was afraid of him, except my mother.

I read this letter and saw a side of him I didn’t know. He was a man who loved his family and he saw their lives much differently than his children did.

This is the first page of the letter. Looks like my dad let him know Grandpa missed his birthday. It must have hurt dad’s feelings for it to have been mentioned. Mama and daddy didn’t have much and it sounds like they gifted something nice to grandpa and Ms. Zora. Daddy’s birthday was on January 9 so this is four days later.

Here are all of Theb’s favorite memories on one page. I’m thankful he wrote this out like this or I never would have known there were these times in my dad’s life.

This is how I read the letter:

Clanton, Ala Jan 13^th 1971

 

Dear Herman and Family,

 

This hurts, Zora and me, about as expected. I bought a milk weather Goat at Marion last Monday. I butchered him yesterday. Sold the quarter yesterday pm. I ate a chunk tonight, it really is delicious. I finally got rested of my deer hunt. I enjoyed it very much but was disappointed when we did not see one. I really felt shocked when you told me today is my birthday. I had planned to write you a nice birthday card and to think I let it all slip my mind. After you gave me and Zora such nice valuable Christmas presents. All I can do at present, is to say I am sorry. But I plan to return your favors in some way. May God bless you and yours is my humble prayer daily. We love you just as we did when you was a little boy. Same to each of my children. Boys and girls. God only knows how lonesome I do get to see all my children together. It seems we all were the happiest family I ever knew. Think how we all in the two horse wagon go spin with grandpa and grandma Kendrick. Other occasions go fishing on Gale Creek, spend the day mama cooking fish on a wood fire, Stew green apples. Well, bedtime has slipped up on me. Good night. Come see us and write when you feel like it.

 

Love,

Daddy K and all

I see all of this as a teachable moment. I’ve told you before how much I realize that one day, these pictures and stories will be the only connection my great grandchildren and beyond have of me. I plan to make it count. I’ve certainly learned the importance of NOT missing a birthday and how blessed I am to have my children with me so often. Grandpa was right, I do get some lonesome to have all my children together when they have been gone for a while.

Now, go visit your people every chance you get. Take a picture and WRITE something. Your texts are great but they are not much to hold onto when time moves on without us.

Lots of love,

Bena

P.S. If you read the letter on Facebook then tell me in the comments how close you came to reading it correctly. I sent it to my aunt, she’s the only survivor of the original family. She loved it and easily read the words from her daddy’s hand.

❤️🐝