I woke up today with a strange sort of peace that I’m not accustomed to. Like the hug of an old friend. Comforting and, although it’s not familiar, soothing.
Something shifted, quietly and without warning, a couple of days ago. I’m not sure how long it will last, and I’m not trying to claim it. I’m just savoring it. For the first time in my life, the push of hurry has loosened its grip. I’m still moving through my day—things are getting done—but there’s no frantic race. My soul feels like it has finally exhaled.
Yes, there’s still the shadow of Chris’s health crisis somewhere ahead, but it will come when it comes. I can’t change that. I can’t change that my “career” feels undefined right now. But somehow, I’ve slipped into a strange, gentle peace—a quiet place of simply observing and breathing in.
Today, I may wander through my garden, or browse the thrift stores, or empty the freezers. I may do all of it, or none of it. Right now, there’s only the comfort of an Epsom salt bath, my aching muscles relaxing, and a little harmless brain rot. The rest will decide itself.
For now, I am both the gardener and the dreamer, the doer and the still one. And for once, that is enough.
3 responses to “The Day My Soul Exhaled”
Life for me got easier and I found some peace when I finally learned in pain and exhausting to sit down and pray.. My prayer was always ” Thank you dear God, for all that I have and all that I am, whatever you bring me today, show me the way and give me the strength to get there.” I guess saying that over and over again made me thankful for all that I did have and helped me give up trying to control what happened. Taught me to trust that God is in charge and he will see me through it.
Type A personalities are driven people and must learn to slow down, we cannot do it all.
My doctor told me once to make a list and prioritize the list with most important on the top and when you are done, you tear the list in half and throw away the bottom half, AND you are not allowed to add the bottom half of the list to tomorrow’s list. That hit home because I realized I always added the stuff that did not get done to tomorrow’s list ( And the world will not stop if they don’t get done)
That calm peaceful feeling may be coming from hormones if you have started taking them. Progesterone produces a calm euphoric feeling. I wish all doctors realized the hell women live in when their hormones are messed up. Glad to hear you are feeling better.
Good for you. God is in control anyway. Take time for you. Relax and spend time in prayer. Good for the soul.
If you ever find directions to that place, please share them.