I woke up this morning to find fishing tournament tshirts in the kitchen. Chris doesn’t wear them so he usually brings them back for me. These are a pretty spring yellow so I’m actually looking forward to wearing one of them today. They aren’t anything fancy but there are no stains on them so I kinda feel a little fancy when I wear one. If you ask Chris what he would rather do for a living other than concrete he always says fishing. I guess most guys would. I’m really proud for Chris and James for winning 7th place in the Homebuilders tournament this past Wednesday. Chris had another tournament coming up next weekend. It would be great if he and his partner could do well. Fingers crossed!
After my bus ride yesterday I spent my first hour at the computer just writing whatever came to mind so I could harness my thoughts. Reading has always been therapeutic for me and writing is just plain fun when I can catch on to an idea that sticks. My brother, Bryan, and I sat on the phone for an hour Wednesday morning discussing various things and encouraged me to get back to working on at least one of the books I’ve started. I currently have three in the works: one fiction, one non fiction on being a caregiver for long term illnesses, and a cookbook. He’s right, obviously, but what really stuck with me is something else he said. “Bena, people are always amazed at how much you can accomplish in a day but they never realize it’s because you have a nuclear reactor on the inside that never shuts off. Telling you to rest doesn’t work because your brain never slows down so I’m going to tell you to retract the rods and add coolant so the core doesn’t overheat and melt down.” Dang. That kinda stuck with me. So that’s what I’ve been doing. I’ve started reading a book, and working on The Caregiver’s Guide, as well as working on my taxes. Reading, writing, and arithmetic.
Obviously, taking care of my little farm and home haven’t stopped but by including time for reading and writing I am adding Bryan’s advice of “coolant” to the core. While that means I am not making cooking videos it does mean that I am still working. Don’t worry, I’ll try and work a few recipes into the mix as well so you’re not stuck watching piggy videos all the time. 😅
Have you ever taken care of a person with a long term illness? What is your best advice for the caregivers out there who may be struggling or who could be just getting started? If you are a cancer patient or someone with a long term illness who has a caregiver (or needs one) what do you wish your caregiver knew? If you know something I don’t I would love to include it in the book I’m working on. Maybe I can get far enough along to start uploading chapters so you can review it and give me feed back. I don’t have an editor so I’ll just work with you instead. Maybe you won’t mind.
Well, it’s time for me to get busy. I’m supposed to go fishing with Chris either today or tomorrow so I have a lot to accomplish before I can go. Have you ever trapped a fly in a jar? That’s me on a boat. I have the worst time being trapped on a small space and not going stir crazy but I’m going to do it for him. He drives that boat around grinning at me the whole time and I just sit and smile while I think of all the things I could be doing, but spending time with him truly is so important so even though it’s not MY favorite pastime it’s worth it. I may spin around in circles on the back deck but at least we will be together. Maybe I’ll take something I can use to work on the book since I’m not big on bass fishing. Any who, wish me luck and I’ll check in on you later.
Y’all be sweet,
Bena ❤️🐝
9 responses to “Reading, writing, and arithmetic”
I hope you’re writing more chapters for The Cage! It’s a cliff hanger and we are hanging!!! 🙂 I love the advice your brother gave. He’s very insightful! As for advice on the long term caregiver, I’ll add that taking care of yourself is right up there as a priority. If you aren’t healthy, you won’t be much help to others. 🙂
Hahaha!! Yeah I saw it yesterday and thought about it. I already have the next chapter in my mind so I just need to hammer it out. Sorry to have kept you waiting! Love your caregiver advice! So true!
HUGGS! to Bryan! Let this quiet time out together with Chris be your ‘coolant’ time. Focus on the peace and stillness, and fully enjoy the Blessings around you.
“Be still, and know that I am God!…” (Read Psalm 46:10, NLT)
When God says BE STILL in His Word, it’s because He has an important revelation for us. It’s because He wants to draw our attention and focus to something in particular. In Hebrew, the word for “be still” in this verse means “relax, sink, let go, cease.” In this verse, He’s asking us to cease.
Cease moving (to let Him act).
Cease thinking (thoughts of anxiety, for example).
Cease speaking (in order to hear God’s voice).
Cease worrying (because God is a high tower).
Cease planning and controlling everything (because God is the King who plans and commands).
And the list could go on!
Have a beautiful time out together! 💝💝
Short term caregiver of hubby with pancreatic cancer. Advice: sit and talk about what you should do if he doesn’t survive. Never an easy topic but can bring much peace of mind to have his words to remember later.
Enjoy every minute of your alone time with Chris. Even though it’s not your favorite it seems to be his. I took care of my sissy for just a year but it seem I could have done it longer, just to have her here with me. I have no advice for you but to be there for them. I was with her 24/7 the last of her journey. Our Lord gives us what we need in strength✝️ Ever since you have shared about Chris & your Mama you have been in my daily prays🙏🏻. I share your stories with my husband on our walks together 2x a week. He laughs and is saddened at your stories that I share with him. I also share with him your farm and all that you do. We are all here with you and pray for you daily. Your far away friend from Huntington Beach, Cail 💞
Having been a care giver on 3 different occasions, 2 of which were terminal, sometimes you need to take a step back and not feel guilty for asking for help. Not just for your loved one, but for you also! You can begin to feel like you are suffocating and you just need time to breathe. When, and if, they become angry and lash out at you, it may hurt your feelings! Remember that it’s not personal. This person has lost complete control of their life and they may be afraid and it is their way of releasing the anger. Last but not least, remember they tend to lash out at the ones they love the most, because they know you will never leave them. Feel honored and love them a little harder!
Yes, spending time with Chris is a priority! Since my husband’s stroke in 2019, I have realized how precious every minute is. Time sitting on the love seat with him watching tv and holding hands are some of my most-loved times, even though my brain and hands continually feel the need to be doing something. I never regret a moment spent with him!
I need the two caregiver books – elder care and cancer survival and health care. You are an Angel and I appreciate you sharing that wisdom from your brother! I will try to cool down lol
My plan is to try and encompass both types of caregiving into one book.